How To Reject Perfection: 2 Ways to Let It Go Now
For years, I've been trying to reject perfection. Being a perfectionist is a fearful thing to be. Fear in fancy clothes. We can aim for excellence, but perfection is not real. It is often a block, an obstacle, an excuse.
As a mother. As a wife. As a yogi. As an holistic nutrition consultant. As a writer. As an entrepreneur. Everything I am. Anything and everything you are. We have to let go of perfection completely. The way we let go of other illusions: by embracing the truth.
Life is messy, and if you wait until everything is perfect, you will never start. Wait until the weather is great to go outside. Wait until you lose weight to meet people. Wait until your skin is clear to get the headshot. Wait until you feel like it to get on your mat. Wait for the new year to start eating well. Wait until you're not busy to make time for each other. Wait until you're dead.
Don't you see? It's a mechanism of the ego. It's a tactic of resistance.
Everything wonderful that you want to do is going meet resistance, whether it is from your own mind or the minds around you. It is the challenge of our lives to rise above this resistance. The resistance that keeps you stuck in non-action, stuck in fear.
So we reject perfection, one of resistance's main tools. That's all it is.
Perfection also turns you into a crazy person. A taut string that could snap at any moment.
An example of this about food: being a perfectionist about what you eat. Yes, it's great to reject things that are not good for you on a regular basis. Making a habit out of fresh produce and good protein. Cleaning sugar out of your life. Cleansing your diet of dairy or gluten.
But be wary of perfectionizing your diet: one day you see a plate of freshly baked cookies, and all of sudden, you're in a dark closet eating the whole thing (I have lived something close to this moment). And this can happen in every part of your life.
One day, the perfection snaps open, revealing some ugly stuff underneath.
So how do we stop this madness? End all this craziness. Reject perfection. When we are trying to make ourselves, make everything perfect, we are the only ones who are fooled.
Let's explore two important ways we can reject the foolishness of perfection.
1. Do It Now:
Just go ahead. Realize that you're using the supposedly "honorable" idea of perfection to hold yourself back. It could be that your mind might be telling you this because it fears growth. "It's not time. It won't be right."
Your mind might always tell you this. "I need more time, to learn more, to look better, to get smarter, to be more ready." But then it keeps telling you this forever until you never do it.
And your mind might not be saying it has to be perfect, but that is secretly what the ego believes. "It won't be good" is what it will say. But that is a way of saying, "It has to be perfect."
So just do it. And celebrate its imperfection. Gain the knowledge of experience. Laugh at your mistakes. Thank goodness you make mistakes or you would be unapproachable. Relish the success of doing it. It will never be perfect because that does not exist, but perhaps it can be improved.
2. Choose and Enjoy Your Vices:
You're never going to get away from temptation. Whatever it is that you love that does not love you back, that never does you any favors (cheese pizza and chocolate pie for me). My digestion is going to suffer for days, and all for about 5 minutes of satisfaction.
So the best thing to do is to choose your vices carefully. Know the vices that really do need to be excused from your life. Know which vices to let go of. Those that get in the way of life. Those that are hurting your relationships or your health or your finances.
BUT then you get to choose which vices to keep. You will know which to keep. And never be a fool about that. You know which ones are hurting you and which need a tamping down.
Keep the more innocent ones and let go of the ones that bring you down, that bring down your frequency.
Make these vices count. Enjoy them in complete awareness. Be mindful of the moments you spend indulging. Make it a treat after a gorgeous week of work. Make it a ritual to spend with loved ones. Share a little bit of your vice to create connection.
You might even schedule a moment of your month or week to spend time with your chosen vice. Don't go crazy. The trick to that is to practice discipline in letting go of the experience and vow to stop. Set a timer, make yourself accountable somehow.
You will be ready to stop if you truly become present and mindful enough to enjoy your chosen vice completely at the chosen time.
You get to choose. Choose not to be perfect. Choose to indulge when you feel like it. Choose to act now. It is in your hands.
How does the tyranny of perfection show up for you? How do you plan to let it go?
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