5 Lovely Reasons to Get Yourself Alone
I don't mean the kind of alone where you dump your boyfriend, tell your friends to get lost, or neglect your kids.
I'm talking about taking tiny sabbaticals from people, from outside reflections. Just pockets of solitude to get quiet and listen, to get clear, to get right, to get comfortable, to relax, to rejuvenate, to get fired up. Whatever you need from you.
I just got back from a trip by myself. I went to Panama and Costa Rica. I have a family, two little children, and I cried like a baby when I hugged them goodbye. I acted like I was a Marine going to war. But I was just going to Central America for 7 days.
I'm so happy I did. I got an open-air cabin in the jungle in Bocas del Toro, Panama and soaked up every second I could. Then I headed to Costa Rica to the yoga center where I got my first teaching certification. And that was wonderful too. Loved both of my rooms. Loved the crazy people I met.
And I was grateful to have wonderful people in my life to support me in taking this journey. People who gladly took care of my children. I am always thankful for that.
Traveling alone, being alone is a walk through fear. It is acceptance of discomfort and pain. It is true fortitude in this day and age of connection.
But of course, you need not take a trip by yourself to be alone. You can take little trips every day. Right in your house or office.
5 Reasons to spend time alone with yourself:
1. To get quiet enough to hear what you say to yourself.
The talking does continue even if you have no one to talk to. This is a good thing, IF you can sharpen your awareness enough to notice all the things that little you in your mind is saying to you.
Because it can be very cleansing to know what you're little you likes to say. If it's negative, we'll need to correct that business. If it's positive, you will need to listen carefully and inspect that too. Accept the wonderful things you say to yourself with humility.
You want to know what I think? I think people make themselves busy so they don't have to hear what their little self is saying to them. I guess I'm talking about the ego here. You may have noticed this little self when you are trying to do something important. It's always the voice of doubt and fear.
But the more you ignore the little voice, like weeds, like crime, it will grow. The louder that little voice gets, the busier and more distracted you will have to be.
And then what's the point of it all if you are rushing through, distracted and hurrying around? Where's the life there? And your listening is at stake. The ability to listen is one of the most important things we can learn to do in life. You will end up losing your listening powers.
Ignoring one thing is ignoring all of it. Life needs your full attention. Ignoring the little voice that is saying something you don't want to hear will get you in trouble. Why? Because first of all, you are going to hear it anyway. No matter how busy you stay, your subconscious hears every true or not true thing the little voice says. Protecting your conscious mind from it won't save you.
Secondly, don't you want to clean that business up? Say someone was saying ugly things to your children or someone you love, wouldn't you stop it and stand up for them? Same goes for the little voice talking badly to you.
2. To get inspired and have some ideas.
Perhaps the voice is actually trying to tell you something that you need to change. Change is hard, you might not want to hear this. But the change will happen whether you're ready for it or not.
And it may be that you don't want to hear something deeper, don't want to hear a calling from your very soul. Something you should do, an idea that would challenge you to take things to the next level. Because going to the next level always revs a little fear.
Perhaps there's something that your subconscious has been trying to say, some creation that wants to come into the world through you, but you can't hear it for all the distraction around you. Maybe it's the very answer you've been seeking. Maybe it's an inspiration that will raise the roof of your life. An idea that could change the lives of everyone around you and beyond.
All it takes is a deep listening that does not happen until you are alone, enjoying your own solitude, basking in your own quiet. Walking through your loneliness with fortitude.
The best way to listen is to meditate. Meditation is just being still, just being open, just being watchful and aware. No need to complicate it.
If you're not "good" at it, or you've always been meaning to start a practice. Now is your chance:
3. To reflect on the beauty of your life.
Look around at all the magical things about your life. Your friends, your family, your childhood, your youth, your adulthood, what you do to make money, Where you live, and realize that it is all a miracle. Everything in your life is a miracle. The synchronicity of your life is a miracle.
Things are happening perfectly for you, in a loving way, whether you know it or not. Whether it appears that way to you or not. There a millions of gifts happening at any second. The breath itself. The heartbeat. The work of the digestive system and immune system. That's just a few of the things inside the body.
You can begin to think about the way that the universe moves things to you, the way God makes things easier for you. You might begin to look at how far you've come. You can begin to think of all that you'e been through, where you are now. What you have now.
Then there's the gorgeous future. Think about the beauty of your future, the grandeur of your wildest dreams and how they will come true. You write up your story, spill out your blessings on paper.
Gratitude is the great multiplier. A form of praise and connection to God. A direct line to the power that loves you, that is within you.
I have a lot of ideas about gratitude, and I put them into a free month-long challenge, and it's really great, if I must say so myself.
4. To nourish yourself and calm your nerves.
Obviously, if you're an introvert, this is what you need to hear. Your batteries are charged by quiet and solitude. You know this about yourself. It doesn't mean you're antisocial or that you hate people, it's just that you must have a good balance for optimal energy levels. You might love people, love to be social, but then you have a time limit, you have a great time and when the clock runs out, it runs out. I get this because this is how I am.
I don't even know how people can be more energized by social situations, by being with people. I don't understand how that even happens. But then again, I'm not an extrovert. Extroverts can't understand why I have to be alone, why I need to be alone sometimes.
I don't have the social anxiety that I used to, you might blame the yoga or the meditation or the therapy or the love, but still when I go somewhere with people, and even if I have a wonderful time, my nerves are frayed at the end of it. I could lay around for 40 days and 40 nights after a party.
But life goes on. And that's why I prep for social events by trying to catch some alone time before and after. With little ones, this is hard. And that might be part of the reason, or one of many reasons that my social life has decreased dramatically. And this is more than okay with me.
I've got a lot of things that require my energy and time; so to grab some time alone, even if I'm in a toilet closet or the shower, is like brushing my hair. It's like a cup of coffee. It's almost like getting a quick massage. It's a lifter. A vibe-raiser, and I'll take it wherever, whenever and however I can get it.
When I walk out of it, I am refreshed, ready. My nerves have calmed, my stress decreased. I just needed a few moments, whether to meditate, sit and think, daydream, lay around, sit around, or read, to breathe. To get into a parasympathetic mode. It soothed me. It fed and filled me like nutritious food.
Alone time fills me up, and I think it does the same for a lot of people. Know thyself.
5. To love and enjoy your own company.
I love myself. To the people who would say, "Why are you traveling alone?", I would say because "I enjoy me, and we really haven't gotten enough time together lately." The German girl I said this to on the beach thought I had mental problems.
And I probably do but at least they are out in the open. I know about them, even accept and love them, and so I get to work on them. I hold no secrets from myself. I only tell the truth. At least I can say that about myself. At the same time, I am a fun person. I enjoy me. My soul delights in my mind which delights in my heart which delights in my body.
I'm constantly integrating and weaving myself together. Constantly forming a tapestry and thinking about what I could do for this world. You might think I'm blowing up my own head, but this isn't always true. I know I'm crazy, but I accept and love that I'm crazy. I'm selfish but working on it. I accept how nervous I get and am trying to choose love.
Think about it this way: at the end of the day, or rather, at the end of your life, you're all you've got. As long as you're alive, your soul, your divine life, is all you really have. BEcause this is absolute truth, It's important to take time to fill up with love and truth. To enrich your inner life, to beautify your soul. Because, though this may be a morbid thought, you are your only constant. And yes, when you lose others, they remain with you because you love them. That love makes your own love, your own spirit bigger and stronger.
Therefore, love for yourself is love for them. Love for them is love for yourself. Love makes the soul brighter, stronger, more powerful.
I choose to love me. I choose to get comfortable in complete silence with me. I create awkward silences with myself, just like I do in conversations with other people sometimes. I want to see what happens. The discomfort is okay.
Because past the discomfort, is genuine love and the possibility of enjoying good company.
Finding a good natural, herbal supplement for to calm the mind and increase peace, either for meditation or for mindfulness in my daily life has really helped me during my busy days. I’m prone to anxiety (why I created this site) and anger so I searched specifically for a supplement that could offer everything that I studied for stress and anxiety during my certification to become a nutritionist.
What I found was the Inner Peace Blend by Nutrition Blends. This supplement reduces stress, improves mood, calms the nervous system and improves sleep.
Comment below about times that you've spent alone, about your experience, about your joys and challenges.
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