Drop the Resistance, Pick Up the Peace: A Guide to Acceptance {5 Guideposts}

What is it that you are resisting in your life? We all have something. For me, there are numerous things that I’m currently resisting, and millions of life stuff that I have resisted in the past.

drop the resistance, pick up the peace_ a guide to acceptance {5 guideposts}.png

Another way of asking this question is, what do you feel negative about in this point of your life?

Negativity and resistance go hand in hand. Every single time, resistance has never helped. Why do we think it does? It’s crazy to think that. Because you know what resistance creates: negativity.

The real definition of negativity, the energetic definition of it, is any type of energetic emotion that is negatively charged, meaning it has roots in pain and fear (other end of the spectrum from joy and love) and also causes more pain and fear.

This negativity caused by negativity is a consumption of other people’s energy. We have taken or literally eaten their life energy because yours has been taken. We’ve spent too much life energy pushing away whatever Life has presented to us (resistance). So our negative energy fields must eat the energy of others, which in turn makes their energy negatively charged.

Just like free radicals stealing electrons from other cells in the body, therefore aging us and causing damage. We have taken the energy of someone else and so negatively charged it.

Negativity is caused by pushing against something or someone. Pushing against someone or something is called resistance.

So it is a pulling of energy from the outside world to the inside world. That’s what negativity is. You might notice how you feel a little tired after dealing with negative people. They have literally sucked your energy. Like vampires. Through their own pushing up against life, through their own resistance. They have caused you to push back in whatever way, to resist back and have taken the energy from your pushing.

Anything done in a state of negativity is destined to cause more of the same, BUT the person or thing on the receiving end can transmute that negativity within. Before it’s passed on.

Guide to Accepting Whatever Is: 5 Guideposts

1. Notice and become acquainted with what resistance is:

The only way to stop the negativity cycle is to notice that you are in resistance. Noticing this is noticing that you’re wasting your life energy and poorly managing your own time and resources.

The reason why you’re poorly managing time and resources is because resisting something only makes it push back. This is simply Newton’s 3rd law of motion that says for every force, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Physics.

Whatever you put out there is going to come right back at you. If you push against Life, Life will push you back.

So come to the realization that you really aren’t getting anything done. It takes a certain level of mindfulness and presence to be able to feel what you’re feeling and hear what you’re thinking. But ultimately, it is a moment-to-moment listening, feeling and look inward. It’s a flow of watchfulness, of being an audience to your own stuff on the inside.

Get to know your resistance: Some examples for you -

  • mind complaining: voice in your head has a problem with everything

  • outward complaining: mind voice is now speaking for you

  • incorrect core beliefs: these core beliefs run your thoughts. These are underneath your thoughts and take some digging to find. An example: “I’m not important.” These core beliefs will help your little personality to resist living well. So a core belief like “I’m not important” will keep you from doing the important things you need to do in this world.

  • procrastination: a very sly form of resistance to something important that must be done, putting off big projects that could expand your life

  • anger: sometimes a resistance to sadness

  • sadness: sometimes a resistance to anger

  • overuse of drugs or alcohol or technology: resistance to pain or fear that needs to be felt and dealt with

  • distraction: overly active work or social life and/or too much TV and entertainment

  • treating people and life poorly: obvious

  • depression: resistance in an arrested state

  • impatience: resisting the time it takes to do something

  • any form of emotional negativity: from low-level annoyance and frustration to rage and outright despair

Look for all these signs and symptoms of resistance. If it helps, meditate on a situation that you know you’re resisting in your life. Look at it from all angles and look at what part you have played in terms of resisting it. Be completely honest.

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    2. Realize that this resistance is a lack of trust and a desire not to see the truth:

    At the base of every form of resistance is fear. Whether it’s the pushing away of something that will expand your life (talking yourself out of meditation, yoga or working out, putting off your goals for another year, etc.) or resistance of whatever shows itself in your life, resistance, and negativity as a consequence, is rooted in fear.

    This fear is a direct result of distrust of Life, God or the Creator (whatever you call the Higher Power). The distrust, in my opinion, comes from the perception that all is separate.

    This seeing of the world as separate is the way our brains make sense of the world, but it has led to the belief that we actually are separated and so not supported by the universe (the animating energy that flows through all). This has led to another belief that we need to watch out, that some of the things that happen to us aren’t good for us.

    So we think the world is out to get us sometimes, and this creates the fear and on upward to resistance and finally, negativity.

    But the truth is that all is love. It’s the energy that holds everything together, and we’re all made from it. So we’re all the same.

    That energy, which animates all, loves the world like a functional parent loves a child, unconditionally and always, doing whatever it takes to give the child what it needs—not always what the child wants, because she’s a good parent and doesn’t believe in spoiling (which debilitates a child).

    The universe, which is everything, loves you and wants the best for you. Everything that happens to you, happens for you. To grow you, to deepen you, to love you and nourish you.

    And sometimes to show you what’s inside that you’re ignoring. This is another form of its love: tough, honest love. Everything outside of you is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you.

    Is someone really pissing you off, lately? Does something really get on your nerves? Are you irritated by someone? What are you resisting in the world?

    I have news for you: The universe is showing you an aspect of yourself. What you resist out there, you are resisting inside.

    Are you enraged by entitlement? Look at closely at ways you might be acting entitled in your own life. Are you overly hateful about bigotry? Look at your own overly judgmental tendencies. (I had to take a look at this recently, and it blew my mind what I found). Are you irritated with someone’s selfishness? Look at what selfish ways might be sneakily embedded in your life.

    If you’re being honest and you’re truly interested in growth, this could do wonders for the radiance of your soul. Bringing light to your own darkness. And then, somehow, you’ve brought light to the darkness out there too through your own.

    This is a wonderful journal exercise. Write down what really pisses you off or makes you sad. What small ways do these things take part in your own life? Be honest and let your emotions roll out.

    We have to trust the universe. In love and out of love, she gives us exactly what we need—even if it’s the truth we need to see about ourselves.

    3. Use visualization, breath and mantra:

    Whatever we’re resisting is usually pretty clear. The only types of resistances that aren’t that clear are the types that are unconscious. These are usually the ones that resist positivity or personal growth or creativity in whatever form. The ego resists those things strongly because growth means the end of the ego.

    Resistance of whatever form Now takes is also ego. Acceptance is the beginning of the end of ego’s dominant power. In fact, the ego feeds on resistance to whatever is in front of you at the moment.

    So it’s important to look at what you’re resisting, overtly and on a secretive, more subconscious level too. What have you been trying to do that just can’t get done? What have you been complaining and shaking your head about? Or even raging about? Ask yourself about both of these types of resistances.

    Then look at your resistances, one at a time. Look at the whole situation and imagine you can take it and open yourself to it.

    Visualize the core of you opening up to take this situation, person, thing or whatever into your own light where it’s transmuted into light, and you glow even brighter because of this openness and acceptance, having taken into your heart the energy and whatever grain of goodness comes from it.

    Add the mantra “I accept _______ (whatever it is).” You might even add, “And now I feel peace.” Say it as many times as you need to. If this doesn’t work for you, notice where in your body and mind you feel the resistance and bring the breath there.

    Use sitkari pranayama: Open your mouth, placing your tongue just behind your bottom teeth. Breathe into the place or point of resistance through your open mouth, letting the air cool the top of your tongue. As you breathe in like this for a count of 5, slowly lift the chin toward the sky to look up completely at the top of the inhale.

    For the exhale, close your mouth and exhale for a count of 7 through the nose, slowly lowering the chin back to neutral until you’re looking straight ahead.

    You might start with something you don’t feel as strongly about, and then work your way up to the big source of negativity in your life. Work out your acceptance muscles, so to speak: “I accept that you cut me off in traffic, and now I feel peace. I accept that you cut me off in traffic, and now I send you peace.” Let the frustration and annoyance go with the exhale.

    Not accepting things as they are is a waste of time and energy. Your resistance does nothing except make the situation push back to reinforce and validate itself.

    Things are the way they are. They won’t change through your resistance. Accept them now to learn what it is that the Creator is trying to teach you, how you are being loved in this partiuclar circumstance.

    4. Venture to figure out what the opposite of resistance/negativity feels like:

    What do acceptance and positivity feel like? A lot of us haven’t felt positive in a long time. Some of us haven’t felt particularly positive since childhood, perhaps.

    We have to start venturing into that zone. Being positive is not necessarily saying, “Everything’s good,” though that’s true that everything happens for your own good. It’s more than that. It’s that outward flow of your life energy. In a sense, it’s giving to the world.

    Resistance and negativity are a taking of energy from the world, through a wasting of personal energy. But acceptance and positivity flow outward. It’s an efficient and giving system. There’s no waste of energy. And instead, life energy flows outward, yet we receive and are energized because of Newton’s 3rd law (equal and opposite reactive force).

    An abundance is awakened when the energy flows from us in a positive direction (which is where we want it to go, no energy should ever stay with you). You unclog your fountain, and now the fountain flows freely, reusing energy and circulating this life energy in and out of the system.

    Some of us need some help developing that positive energy, and in this case, gratitude is huge. Gratitude is a positive flow of energy into the universe. The giving of thanks. When we are feeling really negative, this can sometimes be the only way to turn things around.

    Because, everyone, no matter who you are, has a million things to be thankful for. It’s the easiest way to let go of resistance.

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      It’s always good to ask the universe how something feels. If we’ve forgotten what gratitude, peace, love and joy feel like, then we can always ask for the experience. After we ask, we must be completely open and ready to experience it.

      This requires slowing down, paying more attention to the breath and the body. Literally waiting on the inner experience of acceptance and the accompanying positive emotions.

      Instead of stuffing things you don’t want to feel away, go ahead and feel them. Let pain and fear flow from you too. When complete attention and acceptance is brought to pain and fear on any level, then these energies get transmuted and when you let them go, they get used by the universe as something else; something helpful and good, of course.

      That’s another true definition of positivity: the forward motion of energy, the transmutation that positive light brings. Positivity is forward-expanding light. Negativity is backwards-spiraling darkness.

      Each plays a role. Each is important for the reunion of the world.

      It’s just that we all need energy now. We all need more lightness. I think we’ve seen enough darkness so that now we are able to bring in acceptance, the consciousness of light, the positively flowing forth of life energy.

      We can choose to accept what feels impossible to accept, what we have been resisting for so long and so hard. We can choose the feel the freedom that comes from acceptance, the peace that comes from dropping resistance to what is not going to change simply through our pushing against it.

      Choose the freedom of consciousness and gratitude, the forward-flowing of love and goodness. Choose the freedom and peace of letting go of your resistance. Let yourself relax. Accept it. Feel the peace and energy of letting go.

      5. Take right action:

      I’m not saying that acceptance means watching a horrible crime go down and do nothing about it. I’m not saying that you need to sit there and watch your life crumble apart. No way am I saying that you need to stop trying and let everything just happen to you.

      Acceptance is the first step toward right action. True acceptance (and make sure it’s real) is the only way to take action. From this place of surrender, we are able to flow forward in a positive way.

      Resistance sets us up to fail. When you do anything out of fear, or from a sort of pushing against and taking from the world, you’re infecting the world with negativity, like stealing electrons from other cells to stabilize your own (free radical analogy).

      But if you don’t like something, accepting it and looking at what it can teach you brings a level of consciousness that values EVERYTHING. Because, remember, everything, is here to love you and nourish and grow you deeper and higher.

      This is a sort of love and appreciation that you can act on. And when you let this energy flow into what you do, what you do will infect the world with positivity. It’s a giving of energy that comes from a place of love.

      This doing that results from acceptance, love and appreciation is called right action. Right action is inspired and infused by the goodness of the universe that lives in you, right at your core, in your soul.

      Everything little thing you do will be good, will be magic.

      But you must bring complete acceptance to whatever you’re resisting for right action to happen. You must look at it from the perspective of the universe, or the Holy Spirit. You must know that’s it’s hear to teach you and inspire you.

      Sometimes nothing can be done. You have to try to bring acceptance to this too. Truly wonder, though, if anything can be done on your part. The right action will come from acceptance and the peace that results from that acceptance.

      Whether this means having a hard conversation or finally starting your own business, whatever kind of resistance you need to drop and accept. Feel the peace and joy that flows into your doing and being.


      Comment below if you have anything to say about all this! Would love to hear it.

      Related: How to Embrace Pain: 4 Ways It Can Benefit Your Life

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