Get Fat, Be Lazy, Act Ridiculous & Get Excited About Dying: 11 Weird Spiritual Tips
What I've found so far in my life is this: what you think might be spiritual might not be hitting the mark for your spirit. Because everyone is so different, I've found that there all kinds of ways to live from the soul, to live a spiritual life.
Everyone has to find their own way. The way of a Himalayan mystic might not be for you. The way of a new-age urban professional might not be you either. You will end up having your own rules.
It's interesting sometimes to find that some spiritual guideposts might seem contradictory to you, in terms of what society has been saying. Or even what the personal development society has been saying.
So make your own rules, according to what makes you feel good on the soul level, from the deep-down core, joy and depth of you. What truly lifts you and as a result, everyone around you?
11 Weird Tips
1. Go ahead and want stuff:
Every time I've stifled some kind of desire, it has bitten me in the ass later. We're human! It's okay to want stuff. It's okay to want new experiences. It's okay to want money to do or have what you want. It's okay to want money for the experiences and the experience of things.
No need in adding guilt to your desire which will enshroud a bad vibe around you when you think about what you want, which will ensure you never get it. You'll feel bad for not having it and for wanting it. Because the desire for whatever it is simply won't go away. Not even if you realize that you are the universe and that you don't require anything.
Because the universe wants to experience life through you. That's part of what we are here to do. And right now, as the world works, money is the way to experience what you want in the majority of instances.
Now, I agree that many times you can have too much stuff. Simplicity is key. Happiness is not stuff. For me, I find joy in spaciousness and in choice, quality, high-vibe objects, people and places. Sometimes it's necessary to look at what you want a little harder. Ask yourself, "Why do I really want this?" Or an even better question: "Does my inner joy depend on getting this?"
Your joy is always there. It doesn't depend on getting any money or stuff or experiences. Joy, on a certain level, is who you are. In fact, getting in touch with that joy in your core is what brings what you want to you.
A way to access this joy and simultaneously, to bring more of what you want to you is focus on what you have with a grateful, loving heart. Gratitude, as a practice, is instantly life-lifting and can pull you out of some dark moments.
It takes discipline to do this in the midst of despair and to even make a practice out of gratitude. The best thing to do is to use your discipline to develop your gratitude practice before despair even hits.
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It is has been the longtime thinking in the spiritual community that desire is bad, and money is evil, and stuff is materialism, and materialism is bad too. But here's the thing: everything is material. If you can see it, it's matter. Which means it's material.
I understand people can go overboard with materialism, and I have a huge resistance to waste. But being a little materialistic is all right. As long as there is gratitude, use and experience, appreciation and love for what you have.
As for desire, how can we shun the driving force of life? It is the desire of the Creator to experience the world through us. We are desires of the Creator. It is desire that makes us go. That awakens passion, brings beautiful experience and growth, that pushes us forward into the life we are meant to live.
The problem is attachment to the thing or person or experience or life that you want. Nothing is ever permanent. You must be ready to let go of whatever you acquire or experience. Enjoy while you have it, be as present as possible with your desire when you get it, enjoy the ride to getting it, and then be ready to gratefully let it go.
Any Buddhist can tell you: Attachment causes suffering. Be ready to let go. Nothing ever stays the same. It's cliche but true: Change is the only constant. Love it, appreciate it now. And when the time comes, let go.
So go ahead and have desires. Be conscious about them. And let them propel you into the messiness of life.
2. Don't listen to other people:
What I mean is: Don't just listen to people. Practice true listening. True listening involves all of you. Not just your ears. It involves presence. It involves looking not at them, but into them. It also involves feeling into them.
This is called attuning. Attuning is necessary because people don't always say what they mean. Sometimes, people act really happy when actually they are depressed. Sometimes people say they want to be left alone when what they want is some loving attention.
This is a strange way to operate with people, and it actually requires two things: still silence in your own head and an acute sensitivity to energy. You have direct access to both of these capacities. You are, at your core, silent stillness. All you have to do is pay attention. Is there a bunch of stuff going through your head? Notice it and bloop! Little thought bubble was popped. You are now able to listen intently.
The next capacity is a little more difficult. We have been so turned off from feeling other people. We have lost our sensitivity to others. Even though you have definitely hardened since you were a baby, you may still shed those hard layers, and you'll find that at the still, silent core is your sensitivity too. So getting quiet in your head helps, but also feeling into your own being will take you to the next level.
You can reach this wonderful, feeling sensitivity by going into the breath first and then letting the breath take you right into the pit of yourself, into the heart and solar plexus area where you will be able to feel yourself and consequently, the energy of the other person. When you are speaking with someone else, no matter if you notice it or not, there is a whole conversation going on that is not verbal. Your energy fields are interacting and informing each other. You will be able to feel what's going on with the other person, but you have to practice getting in touch with your interior life first.
That is where you will get the real information. It's there. Be interested, stay open. Practice meditation to get to know your own energy so that you don't mix up your own energy with that of the other person with whom you communicate.
3. Be lazy and try to do nothing sometimes:
I'm sure you've heard about unplugging and taking it easy. It's the big advice in this day-and-age of hustling and bustling.
Well, I'm going to take you a step further and say that you should, for every 5 busy days, take 1 or 2 to chill the hell out. Use your weekend. Hide your laptop. Enter the parasympathetic mode completely for a whole day.
Don't take off your pajamas. Feel proud about wearing your pajamas for a whole, entire day. If you have children, tell them they don't have to do anything for a whole day (except for, of course, hygiene and nourishment duties for the body). Call it pajama day.
If you're a parent of little children (I feel you), of course you will have to change diapers and tend to things. But everything is slow and easy. Don't exert yourself. Do what needs to be done and spend the rest of the time tickling and watching Coco, which is a wonderful movie by the way.
If you already do this, you're awesome. Keep up the good work. Or non-work.
If you don't do this, just make yourself to stop. If it feels uncomfortable, let this discomfort sit. Sit with it for hours. Your goal is to release the discomfort of being lazy.
Let's not have mental breakdowns. They are a waste of time (and a little scary). Take a day or two, be lazy and do nothing. You deserve it.
4. Don't aim for happiness:
Okay, I have to tell you something. This is all about semantics, but I'm here to tell you that happiness doesn't exist. Not in the way we often think about happiness.
I'll get to that in a second. But before I do, let me explain:
The feeling that we're calling happiness doesn't happen in the future. Because the future isn't real - it's just imagination (and so is the past if that's where you're getting your so-called happiness). What we call happiness actually happens at only one point in time: right now.
So that means that you can't make it a goal. In other words, you can't say "I'm going to be happy." That completely negates happiness. What we call happiness only happens now.
It's a big, fat trick! That feeling doesn't come from outside you, you can only get it and feel it from within. Which means that it's a part of who you are: it's joy. Which means you can access it right now, if you wanted to.
So actually, happiness is a made-up thing. You can't make it happen for anyone and no one can make it happen for you. It's not real.
What people mean when they say happiness is joy: an elated, higher vibration of content, of peace. Joy is elevated, alive peace. It's just a quality of your soul, the real you.
To get in touch with inner joy, you just have to be in touch with yourself, which takes a lot of mindfulness and presence. Meditation is also a way to practice for the day-to-day mindfulness and journey into your interior to access the joy.
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Isn't it freeing to know that you depend on nothing and no one for happiness? That you don't have to try to be happy?
All you have to do is practice accessing, embracing and letting the joy come out from within you. That, to me, is revolutionary!
5. Get fat:
I mean this in all the ways - literally and figuratively.
I admit to periods when I have been crazy and insane about what I eat (the life of a healthy nutritionist). Then I relaxed and gained some weight, put some meat on my butt, and I was feeling as sexy as ever. I felt content and a lot less crazy.
So here's the deal: let's stop obsessing over what we eat. Yes, let's make a habit out of eating whole, unprocessed foods. Let's eat well on a consistent basis with vegetables, leafy greens, good protein, and healthy FATS.
Fat, especially Omega-3 fatty acids, is good for the brain. Study after study has shown that getting fat into the diet has lowered depression and that in particular, getting Omega-3s into the body has reduced inflammation and boosted brain health.
No matter what anyone says, cholesterol is important for hormonal health and brain health too. Fat (lipids) is what forms your myelin sheath which protects your nerve cells. Your whole central nervous system, nerves and brain and everything, depend completely on fat.
Also, fat is necessary to absorb a lot of wonderful fat-soluble vitamins: vitamin A, D, E, and K. A lot of fat-soluble vitamins do an assortment of jobs in the body from boost the immune system to making the skin glow to again, making the brain balanced and healthy.
I understand that there have to be limits to fat (both nutritionally and on your body). I'm not promoting heart disease or metabolic syndrome here. On the contrary, I'm promoting satiation and feeling content and healthy in the brain.
Fat is a good thing and is a necessary, healthy part of our bodies, our brains and our lives. If you have fat on you and in you, that's great. That's what we want. Don't be scared or ashamed of fat. Be thankful for it.
Every body is different. Be sure to get your fat, according to what you need. You will feel it when you get what you need.
Enjoy your food. Put some meat on your bones. Know the right weight for you and try to stay there. Reduce sugar, not fat. Reduce your refined carbs. And then get your fat from the best possible sources.
It's beautiful to have plenty of flesh and fat. No matter what waif you've seen in a magazine lately, love your fat. Lose the excess if it's unhealthy, of course. But otherwise, enjoy that protective cushion. And appreciate what fat does for your brain and body.
At the same time, every good thing has its limit. I can't stress enough how much I don't mean to become overweight and gain an excess of fat on the body. Heart disease and diabetes and all the problems that come with these problems are serious.
Take care of how you get your fat (avocados, eggs, extra-virgin olive oil, coconut oil, clean dairy if it's right for your body like ghee or grass-fed, organic whole milk, flax seed oil, nuts and seeds etc.). Pay attention to your cooking oils and your Omegas.
But certainly, get that fat.
Honor and love all the parts of you, especially the merry parts that dance and jiggle when you walk.
6. Be self-centered:
Focus on you. You can only change things around you by concentrating on your inner life. Find the still, quiet center as often as you can. Breath is the easiest way to go into the body and get centered.
When you live from the inside out, the world feels that. Everything around you will react to your refined energy. This is the beginning of the healing consciousness of the world. It starts with you.
Also, as a side effect, you become somehow more attractive, like physically beautiful. As spiritual people, we aren't supposed to care about what we look like, right? Wrong. Watch those eyes shine and that skin glow.
Your brightness will shine outward if you try to stay inside the body, when you focus on beautiful thoughts and beliefs within (which create beautiful emotions), when you fill yourself up with that high-vibe love, it will spill out, and even make you smell good.
On a different note of this tip, you are less likely to criticize and judge others if you know what's going on inside you. If you are paying attention to yourself, you will know all the crazy stuff going on in your head. You will be more compassionate toward others.
Knowing yourself helps you to realize that you are no better and no worse than anyone else. When you can bring love and acceptance to even the ugliest parts of you then you are able to do that in the world.
Everything starts inside. Everything is an inside job.
Sometimes, you might even notice, when you have a negative reaction to a person, you are actually having a negative reaction to something in you. The world is a mirror for yourself. They are presenting a part of your personality that you don't like.
As I said earlier, there are energies being exchanged that we can't see, and even when someone shows you a side you don't like, there's a lesson there to learn about yourself. Some part of you attracted an aspect of them.
So don't judge others. Ask what this might mean in terms of what you need to look at, accept and work on in your own ego, pain body or even your soul.
7. Cry your eyes out:
Why is it a bad thing to cry? This makes me so upset. I'm getting emotional about it, right now.
The worst part and the saddest part is the way men are raised not to cry. Now we have a bunch of emotionally shut-down men. And shut-down people, people who have ice hearts, they are free to do horrible things. They can't feel their own pain or the pain of others.
Now I'm not saying that it's only men who do horrible things. But they do the majority of horrible things, let's be honest. The first pop on the butt or leg or head they ever got? It was probably for crying.
I'm not just talking about men. I'm now talking about the false early lessons that being emotional is weak, is wrong.
Shut off your emotions to survive, to not be abandoned. Don't ever cry if you want to be loved and nourished, if you want to stay safe.
In the meantime, all the pain never gets an outlet. It lives in you, creates its own energy field. Before you know it, it is its own living thing. It is living energy is called the pain body. And it must grow like any other living thing so it attracts more pain - so more and more painful circumstances come.
Not only that, but you never gave your pain any attention so it's hungry for attention. It starts acting out for attention, causing problems in relationships, causing pain to others all around. Spreading itself around like a sickness.
This all leads to very bad things like addiction. The pain pill epidemic, I am convinced, has something to do with the oversized pain bodies of the completely unconscious. They have been taught not to feel pain, not to let it out. So this oversized energy is hungry for relief.
People have been shut off to feeling so drugs and alcohol is their way back in. Back to feeling that wonderful feeling of innocence, a powerful and free feeling. But you don't have to become addicted to anything to feel wonderful.
Think of all the medications that are meant to make people feel okay. Their pain has become too much. They have been ignoring it for too long. There has been no expression. So there is depression.
All you have to do is walk through your pain and let it out of your body. There are lots of ways to do this, but my favorite is crying.
Crying, in my household, is a congratulatory activity. I have toddlers so I have to teach kindness and non-selfishness, and that's always a delicate balance when it comes to this fit-throwing issue. I walk a fine line of letting them be and watching their activity.
But crying is a respected activity. Let it out. Don't let pain live inside you to create addiction and disease. Don't let the energy sit, weigh you down and grow rancid.
You can always exercise, do yoga and do heart-centered meditation to deal with it, but why not do the automatic obvious? Cry it out. The proudest moments I have ever enjoyed with my husband are the times when I have seen or heard him cry.
Crying is freedom. There is no feeling like the high and weightlessness you feel after a good cry. Feel your pain. Feel your joy. Let it overflow out of your eyes, washing them so they are clear and beautiful, bright and ready to see the world.
8. Be weird and act ridiculous:
I've been called weird so many times in my life. Since I was a little child and didn't even know what it meant.
And you know what? I love it now. It used to hurt my feelings, but I feel good about being weird now. My thought is that I would rather be weird than be whatever is considered "normal." I just feel like that is living. The more you try to fit in, the worse off you will be.
Go against the grain. The people who have created the most profound lives have been the weirdest people ever. Be your interesting self. Be weird. Don't be normal.
How do you be weird? I think it's about doing whatever feels right to you within the limits of kindness, love and truth. Mostly, I like to think that weirdness is creativity. If not, I know it has a whole lot to do with creativity - with being original. If you were making a work of art, would you want it to be like all other works of art? No.
Well, you are a work of art. So go on and be different.
What about after you've been weird? Are you ready to be ridiculed? Have you been ridiculous enough to draw in some ridicule? Well, you'll know by your feedback. Weirdness is polarizing. It makes people uncomfortable. So be ready for that.
Make sure that whatever "weirdness" emerges from you is truth, is love, is creativity, is completely natural to you. Make sure it is real and feels free. If you have met those standards of being your real self, then proudly stand in it. When you meet ridicule or any type of feedback, stand proudly.
Get to a place in your mind and soul where the only opinion that matters is your own. Being weird is the greatest way to achieve this. Act ridiculous, accept the ridicule and know that anything worthwhile has all types of reactions across the board.
When you are ridiculed and don't fight back, it is a perfect way to let the ego die a bit. And to let the soul emerge. Let the criticism come, smile and accept what comes up for you. Let the ego fall away as you notice the urge to defend yourself and not do it. Exhale that energy away from you.
And then smile because you have truly acted from your free and real self. You are a free spirit in the greatest sense of the word.
9. Get excited about dying:
You aren't your body. You aren't your brain and mind. You know that.
You are that which animates the body and mind. You are pure energy, enlivening yourself during a short moment in eternity. You are but a wave crashing on the shores of life for an instant before returning back into the ocean.
In actuality, you are outside of space-time. You are eternity. Because energy can never be destroyed or created. It just moves into a different form. Think water that goes from solid ice to liquid water to vapor in the air.
You are a spirit that will return to the Holy Spirit when you die. How exciting is that! Since the Holy Spirit is consciousness-love-creativity, can you imagine that feeling? A thousand times better than running back into the arms of someone that loves you. The feeling of coming home times a billion.
I admit that I'm not quite ready. I feel like I have a lot to do, and I've got people that I don't want to leave, but when faced with it, I will feel like I'm being called back home. Time to rest. Time to prepare for the next journey.
Can't wait to see what happens. The feeling of love. Maybe I will get a little replay of my life! I would love that. If not, whatever. Maybe I will rise into space and fly! Always wanted to fly. The curiosity is killing me. I'm excited.
Trust that when the times comes, it will be right. Trust the universe to take you when you've given all that you can. And then let go of the fear of death.
Death is nothing but a birth. Don't be scared. Be curious and look forward to it happily. Ask for no pain, yes. But get excited about it without calling it into your experience (universe takes you when it's time, that all I know).
10. Stop trying:
Your energy when you're pushing is not agreeable with the nature of how things work. Even when it comes to trying to be a good person. It's all about energy and how you use it. You don't want to slam your energy into something. That would knock it away from you.
We want to be magnets, pulling something in with our power, drawing the life we are building directly to us. Blessed are the meek (the ones who lay low and live gently) for they shall inherit the earth (for all good things of spirit and love will flow right to them).
It's all about flowing.
Think of water: Water flows and moves where it is needed, where it is wanted. Be as fluid, as nourishing, as easy and clear as water. This fluidity is what presence is all about. "The" present moment isn't just a single thing that you just push your way into. It is a fluid moment-to-moment flow. It's not now, now, now, now, now. It's nnnnnnnnnoooooooooowwwww.
Whenever you feel yourself trying too hard, pushing yourself to be awake, to be a better person, to get this and that done - try to relax into the gentle flow of the breath. Notice how subtle it is. How softly loving and nourishing. Just be.
Yes, there is effort required but stop expending energy that isn't necessary to expend. We are wearing ourselves down. Life is easier than we all think. Just flow, and let it all come to you. Just open and welcome it all in.
11. Say no:
When you are a compassionate person, when you are devoted or altruistic, your boundaries are going to be so important. This is for the parents and teachers out there, especially.
Saying no isn't an ugly thing to do. Repeat that to yourself. Saying no is not rude. Saying no is not unkind.
It is necessary. You introverts out there are nodding your heads, saying AMEN! It's okay to say no to an invitation, a person, a thing, an offer, a place. Yes, you have to say yes to what life brings you in terms of what you can't control. You have to practice acceptance or you make yourself miserable but realize that there is still a lot we can control.
You have free will! You have choices! If you don't want to do something, or be like someone, or go somewhere, say no. Speak up if you don't like something. Draw your lines. Create your boundaries. Even, and especially, with those you love most.
Boundaries are especially important when it comes to loved ones because that is where lines often get crossed. If you need space, say so. I tell my children to give me some space and privacy when I need to.
That doesn't mean I'm not madly in love with them. It means that though I love them, I love me too, and I have to honor and respect myself (and they have to honor and respect me too).
Some day, they will remind me to give them some space and privacy. When they draw their lines and tell me no, I have to accept and respect their choices. I have to respect their boundaries. That's how it goes.
Say no when you need to. Say yes when you need to. Say anything clearly, with the highest amount of love and respect possible.
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