An Open Letter to Women Everywhere: How to Wake the Divine Feminine
This post has a definite tone of anger, but I’m not afraid to admit that. Hear me out. Reading time is about 5-7 minutes.
In the conversations between and among women these days, there’s a lot of crying and head-shaking. There are a lot of truths being spoken. There are a lot of memories being brought up.
This is a time of cleansing and rising. Big pain bubbles rising to the surface. And all women calling on the strength they need to walk through that pain and fear of a time when they were assaulted, abused, quieted, oppressed or mistreated.
Just this morning, I turned on my husband, who is a good man but will never understand what’s it like to be a woman, and asked him if he knows what it feels like to have to constantly watch out for himself, in case there is someone who wants to grab him, attack him, or expose himself to him.
And I want you to know that he made no real comment except for “all this sexual assault stuff lately.” So he didn’t really say anything, and I also didn’t turn on him harshly, but I wanted to dispel any downplaying he might have had going on in his mind (which there wasn’t). I’m pretty edgy right now about all this.
It’s just that there’s a lot of rage in my heart, for my own moments of being assaulted, disrespected and harassed, and for the women I know and love who have been abused and assaulted much worse than I have.
I’ve been lucky in my life. Some groping, some nasty, disrespectful comments, and one man exposing himself to me.
I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that all women everywhere have experienced some form of assault. This is a darkness we are all facing. Men need to face it too. Even the ones who have never been so much as disrespectful to a women need to look at how they play a part, if they are downplaying the pain of women.
Men especially need to wake up to this. We have to help to wake them up to this.
How do we face this darkness as women? How do we affect change from where we are? How do you command respect when it seems like no one cares or listens? When it seems like even other women are downplaying the violence inflicted on women?
Downplaying is not the answer. Because when you downplay what happened to you or to others, the perpetrators up their game, and that either is thrown back on you or onto another woman after you.
How to Wake Up the Divine Feminine:
1. Feel and speak:
When you feel your own rage and sadness, you give other women the courage to do it. When you hold space for their pain, you allow them to come into that space and feel what’s been done to them.
Let’s have even more conversation, whether in therapy or with other women or with your loved ones. The best way to feel is to talk. Venture to ask women that you love about their experiences. What’s happened to them? We ask with respect and with love. We open the space, and we aren’t afraid of being rejected. If they aren’t ready, we don’t push.
But letting them know that we will listen, that they don’t have to be quiet is the first step. And then truly listening if they do speak up. Feeling their pain, walking through their sadness with them. This is the beginning of healing.
If it’s too much trauma to process without professional help, then go to a professional, licensed therapist who has been trained to hold safe space.
If you’re uncomfortable talking, then you should meditate and write. Bring up the memory, feel your pain and let it flow out of your fingers as you write.
Then ask yourself what you, in your life, can do about it. If you feel rage, how can you channel it into the right places? Should you write a letter or an email? Should you go speak to schools and businesses? Should you start a women’s group? Should you start a discussion where you work or worship?
Women must support each other, hold space and be present to listen. We must use this opportunity to help each other. A lot is coming up, and underneath the pain and fear that’s coming up, is the Divine strength, the feminine—the creative energy of the universe.
We have been quieted. We’ve gotten unfortunate, wrong messages from society, which has been predominantly ruled by men. Men protecting men. Men protecting themselves. Men not willing to look at the role, small or big, they play in this sick power game. Every picture sent, every piece of porn, every disrespectful, objectifying comment about a woman, every animalistic motivation, the simple words they use to impress each other.
They have persuaded us, sometimes with the help of other women (who are eager to please, who are eager for love and belonging among men) that we should not talk about it. That we need to keep quiet, that it’s grotesque and self-pitying to bring it up. To quit griping.
So some of us, in an effort to move on, to keep the peace, to promote love, have been quieted. Or we simply cannot face what we’ve been through.
But that pain only grows within the abused woman, and not talking about it encourages the problem. Downplaying it, whether by men or women, is a grave mistake for the future. Our little girls and boys playing in schoolyards right now will have to deal with the choices we make.
And truth, feeling it and speaking it and listening to it with an open mind and heart, is the only way to move forward with any kind of change. We all know that nothing says still. So will it get worse or better?
Rage is good. Crying is good. More on that later.
Maybe we’re not ready to actually speak about it, yet. The first step would be to meditate alone on it then. To get quiet and clear with yourself, with your pain, with what happened. Maybe even a little bit at a time. Some of us need a professional for this.
If you want to try to build a meditation practice or get back into one, this free program has helped hundreds:
2. Talk to men and boys and girls:
Men have been in charge, yes. And we all know this about men: most of them, usually, don’t want to be wrong. Sorry if this sounds stereotypical, and I realize that all of humanity has this issue. But men have tighter, harder egos. This has been confirmed across time and space. I know there are exceptions, and there are lots of wonderful men out there, but this, in a lot of cases, is undoubtedly true.
Why are their egos stronger? I think it has something to do with the fact that women, because of our cycles and life-giving abilties, are more attuned to our bodies, which makes us less mind-dominated. The ego is driven by fear so really most men out there are scared, more scared than women.
How is this? Well, here’s what I think: I think men are scared of women on a completely unconscious level.
Women are much more intellectually in tune with their bodies and so their spirits. We have powerful intuition because of this. This all has to do with the ability to grow life inside of us, of course.
Then, afterward, birthing that life into the world. This is our direct connection to love, which is the most powerful force in the world. Love is real power, and women are more likely to accept it and feel it because of this connection to the mystical, magical power of the body and soul, in order to have the resources available there to care for another helpless human.
Not to say that men don’t help with children, but I’m specifically talking about the biological ability of a woman when it comes to giving life. Every month, we are reminded of the pain of childbirth, and our cycles unite us actually. We are united with each other and to nature. We have the creative power of Life, also active in all of nature, working outwardly within our day-to-day. Men don’t feel or have that as much, and I think it’s threatening to them how connected we are.
Then there are the much stronger communication abilities. Expressing and listening. It’s even been shown that women can hear frequencies that men can’t. We have great powers that men can’t begin to touch. And our strength has been tested too.
In other words, men feel on some level that their biggest strength over women is their physical strength, but it’s the only one. Until this point in history, physical strength can’t be ignored. And it won. It did—we can’t deny that men tip the scales of power still. But now, because of evolving consciousness and mass communication, that is not a strength that can be exploited anymore.
My point is that we, as women, have an outward magic they don’t have, that they might not be able to understand. And anything that is not understood is feared. For most, excessive fear turns to hate. Hence, misogyny.
Misogyny, even in some of the subtle variations listed above, is an ingrained hatred. Men or even women who feel this way want to dim the light of a bright woman because they are scared of that light.
That light that women bring, first seen when they begin to enter womanhood, is scary to hard egos. It shines too brightly on their darkness (on their fear and pain) and so these egos (of men and women) need adequate darkness to operate unconsciously (consciousness and light weaken egos) and so want to cause pain, to quiet that soul, to pull her into unconsciousness also, to disconnect the power that woman has.
They can’t handle her light so they must tame her, shut that light off by controlling her somehow—causing her fear and pain so she’ll be so caught up in that, she won’t be able to use her light to see their egos, and then they won’t have to see their own egos, their own fear and pain. And the egos keep running the show.
Hence, violence towards women everywhere.
It’s basically rampant dark fighting light. Fear fighting love. The way a bully picks on a bright, wonderful child—afraid of the light and truth they bring. If someone shines their light, the ego is in danger of being seen. So they now have to shut off that light somehow.
So what is the answer to this fear in men? Men run by fear and pain, wanting to damage and darken the soul of women—how do we get to them?
My answer to any variation of fear is love. It’s the only true power.
But love doesn’t always look like what you think it looks like. For instance, love sometimes means fierceness, fury and rage. It can mean strong and true words. It can mean tears and showing someone exactly what they have been doing.
The truth is that men and women deserve better: Men deserve to feel love too. They are just as loved and important as women and need to be reconnected to Source so that don’t feel so lost that they would project pain and fear onto others.
Love doesn’t have to be soft and sweet. Love is often truthful and angry and defiant. Love is speaking up, being stern. Love is creating boundaries and not letting anyone cross them. Love looks different in every situation.
But we speak and act from a place of love when we stand up for ourselves and other women. And we even do it for men who are obviously so disconnected from Life, from God, that they do these things to hurt women—what a sad way to live. There must be very little joy there.
I understand that I affect my husband’s and my little boys’ views of the world. It’s clearer that I affect my sons’ views, but my husband listens to me. I’m a lucky woman. He respects me, knows that I’m wise and intelligent.
I’m not afraid to speak up when I hear anything that culture has told them about women and girls. I speak clearly and firmly of respect, love and the fact that women are to be revered. I will not allow even the slightest misogyny in the people that I love.
I will keep counteracting any messages they get from outside, and I will show them a strong woman whom they respect and love, as they must do for all women. It’s so important to me. They will revere women as the holy beings we are.
It’s harder with the older ones like my husband who has definitely received misogynist messages, ingrained into most men from society, and has built a few faulty beliefs from that. But at the first inkling of it, I put my heavy foot down. I deserve better and so does he. I want us both closer to being love and light, and he often sees when the double standard or prejudice against women has crept in, which is not often.
I’m lucky because he’s good at opening his mind and heart.
Talk to the men. But especially talk to the little boys. Keep sending messages that counteract what they see in commercials, movies, billboards, signs, in life, at school. Talk to men and boys with strong love. Gather them and have open conversations. Let’s get clear on our beliefs, on what people are thinking.
Tell the girls and boys not to be quiet, to tell, to be truthful. Tell the girls to rage if someone ever touches them. And the boys! Let them know how important and special they are, that they are magical and should never be disrespected or used in any way.
Sometimes rage and anger help you to step into your power, and also to eject some of the energy that could deter us from our mission of equality and respect.
We have been told to be nice, not to make a scene. But I say make a scene. I say step into that electrified place of anger.
If you are a spiritual person, you might look down on anger a bit, even subconsciously. I remember when I started to have my spiritual awakening, I told my friend that I never got angry. One month later, I blew my top off. Ha! I laugh my ass off when I think about this.
I think about the wrath of nature, so connected to our own. I think about Jesus losing it at the temple. I think about the wonder of anger, and its role in alerting us to what’s wrong. I think anger is spiritual and healthy. And right now, we should all be feeling it—controlling and directing it in a conscious way.
If you’re afraid of “being a bitch,” you are hypnotized. You’re under the spell of a masculine energy that has ruled the world through sheer physical strength only, which is a very flimsy power indeed. This masculine energy has used that judgment of “bitch” to keep you quiet. Hence, “bitching” means complaining.
If bitch is the word you want to use, then please go ahead and be a bitch. Bitch and moan, complain, rain down your wrath and fury. Let’s see your power. We think it’s beautiful.
Anger is very closely related to power. When we can play out this anger (not hurting anyone because the last thing we need is to promote more pain and fear in this world) then we feel our power, our energy to create change. In whatever “small” or big way you are called to do it, use this energy to do something about it.
There is no small way to use your fury. Stand up for women everywhere. The smallest action inspires and changes the whole course of things.
Though we must be conscious of this: Hating men and women who don’t support women will get us nowhere. We have to realize that we are all born full of light and love, innocent. Then the pain and fear came in—that’s the only thing we have to blame.
For a lot of men, I’m guessing, the issue has been both fear and pain, but like I said earlier, there’s a lot of fear around women for some men out there. They sense our divine feminine is powerful, and it scares them.
Part of the divine feminine is the ability to rage. So own that part of you. Let go of what others think. Don’t make nice or keep the peace. If someone touches you, slap them across the face and tell them never to touch another woman like that again. Tell them to wake up. Push them away and tell them they have enraged a goddess and to watch out.
Put someone in their place even if their girlfriend or wife is close by. It needs to be said, right there, in front of everyone. What follows is none of your business. You just bring the light. Don’t be afraid of your own light, shine it brightly and fiercely. Tell the world about it.
As for assault and violence against children, there’s nothing in the world that enrages me more. Rage and speak up for them. This letter is for them too, because we are their protectors. Everyone should fear the wrath of a mother, should fear the wrath of a child’s guardian or caregiver. And the children need to be taught not to keep quiet and to fight and run if they can.
Speak up about ingrained misogynist tendencies in society like certain institutions, clothes, sports, media, double standards, office politics, and home life expectations.
Remember to rage and speak with love. Love for women and men. Love for equality. Love for the balanced powers of the Divine.
And remember that without women, life would not be possible. You have every right to rage and feel your anger and speak up and act with the purest intentions to let consciousness burn brighter in this world. Don’t be afraid of your fire: it shines a strong light on the darkness.
High as Hope, which is Florence + the Machine’s new album, has really helped me to get in touch with my emotions. That is why it’s quoted all over this post. It’s vibrant and positive but will help you to feel anything you need to feel, love especially.
What would it look like to have a women in charge of the world? To have women in more leadership positions? In the government and in companies.
Would there be more peace and less war? Would there be more respect and leeway for mothers doing the important work of raising children? Would there be no tolerance whatsoever of sexual misconduct?
Would there be more love and listening? Would there be more intuition and emotional intelligence? Would our youth be safe from creeps? Would there be less assault against children?
What would the education system look like? What would the global economy look like? The relationships between countries? How would the prison system change? Would the earth begin to heal? What about our oceans? Would they be cleaner? Would the environment get better?
Would government officials still be allowed to be bribed and paid by corporations in exchange for how they vote? Would there be less fear and more love? In the government, in our cities, in our businesses and corporations and in our homes?
We don’t care about taking over. We just want to be equal partners with an equal say in what happens to our children, in how to be stewards for the world.
See it in your mind. See how you want the divine feminine to rise, how you want the world to be influenced by the sacredness and power of women. Keep imagining what the world would be like if women had more charge, stepped into more power in every arena.
We are to be revered for our biological powers of life. Not objectified and used, not disrespected and shamed. We are to use our voices and say the truth, shine the light. Not to be quieted and tamed. Step into your divine feminine and be unafraid of it.
Stare down your own fear and pain, and also the fear and pain of the men who come into your field.
And raise all women up. Lift them with your words, your actions, and even your thoughts—with your overall energy. We all feel it together. We all feel this pain. We can only rise up together—for our children, for our world, for each other.
We need to do this, and the world needs us.
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