What is the Secret to a Beautiful Life? 3 Sweet Tips

The secret to a beautiful life lies in its moments. It is all about the moment-to-moment decisions. And there are all kinds of ways to ensure that you are making the right momentary decisions that will take you in the direction you want to go. We'll count them in a minute. 

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First a little discussion on our intentions, on why we must choose, decide on our experience...

Every single moment needs to take you in the direction that you want to go. This is my biggest lesson. For me, I'm always looking at the future and wondering how to get there. But the answer is now. It's not in the future. The decision must be made now. What is the decision? It boils down to deciding between love and fear. 

Now is a moment-to-moment flow upon which you decide your experience over and over. The decisions vary based on what's going on, but it always comes down to one thing: choosing between a lower vibe and a higher vibe of action, feeling or thought. It is deciding to increase your love or to decrease love, where fear will rush in to take that love's spot. 

You, like me, might be thinking: Well, that's easy. I'll just pick the more positive vibe. I'll pick love. It's easy for us to say that right now, but in a few moments someone might steal your parking spot or test your patience at home or work, and it's easiest to fall...right down into the negative reaction rather than the positive choice

I've been pulled so hard in both directions lately. The devil and angel on my shoulders have been at it more than ever. And it's hard, when feeling the pull of the old, comfortable way of doing things, when feeling the pull of pain and fear, when magnetized toward reaction.

I've found that the more I navigate toward creating my experience and leaning into higher vibrations of energy, the easier it is to do it the next time, until I can do it over and over again. And my goal is to make it a habit. 

But the decision always happens now. That's why we must remain completely awake, as much as we can remember. Conscious, seeing and listening and feeling well into our inner space. 

We might be thinking, when it comes to decisions, I will choose love. BUT you are making a decision every moment: what you're thinking about, what you're focusing on, what you're working on, what you're looking at, how you are choosing to perceive or look at it, how you are feeling (goes back to thought). 

See what I mean? Every moment is a decision. Whether it's a thought, a word, a vibe or an action, you are making the decision between the higher love or the lower fear. So it's not just deciding between which project you will focus on at work or even deciding to give a donation somewhere (though those are definitely also moment-to-moment decisions). The decisions are really little, very minute in the moment-to-moment flow. 

Choose thoughts, words and actions that create the expansive feelings. 

It's all about living an intentional life. A decisive life. A life stubborn to create love and beauty where it may walk, whatever it may say or do. 

But we have some pointers on how to make the moment decisions, on how to choose the higher road, the greater vibration as much as we can. 

How to Increase Your Chances of Making Love-Based Decisions:

1. Be aware of the sensation and movement of the energy in your field:

Love-based decisions (whether thoughts, words or behaviors) are always expansive. They are filling. They make you bigger somehow. They make everyone around you bigger too. 

The bigness happens somewhere in your energy field, but it seems to radiate the light of your soul outward. This is the opposite of what a fearful decision feels like.

A fearful decision feels like contraction and tension. It might even feel like a physical contraction (tightness in the neck, in the chest, shoulders, etc.). But this is not just true on a physical level, it's true on an energetic level. 

The other day I got mad at my husband, and I could literally feel the squeezing, the contraction of the energy in my heart, in my centerline. It's a moment like this when I am really thankful for my extreme sensitivity.

Because this wasn't physical. It was a contraction of my soul, a lessening of my loving energy because the fear had taken over. It was a small, squeezing feeling. Like being suffocated. 

I could tell my love had contracted, had gotten smaller. I had decreased the amount of active love, and fear had rushed into the vacuum. Also I had reversed the outward flow of my energy and was being pushed inward. I could feel the sensation of closing walls. Energy reversed into me. Negative flow. 

But love moves outward. It's energy that goes forward into the world, giving itself away freely. This is what makes it positive energy, and this is also what makes it expansive. That's why the feeling is so freeing. You have essentially left the confines of your body. You're free because you are no longer confined by your body. 

That's the expansive feeling. 

The brightness and greatness of you flies freely. It is an experience of abundance, really. In a state of fear, we stop this flow and hold on to our energy, and that's when it becomes negative because everything is moving and vibrating.

So energy is always moving and can't stay still so the more you hold on to it, the more it pushes itself back into you (to rot and wreak havoc as fear in your energy field - everything will be affected by this). 

When it comes to expansion vs. contraction feelings, it's obvious that we are aiming for feelings of expansion. Become awake to expansion vs. contraction. Feel for both as much as you can remember. Enjoy the expansion and be aware of the contraction (which might be necessary every now and then but be sure you can open back up and let it go soon). 

Try to choose thoughts, words and actions that create the expansive feelings. 

It's nice to get involved in loving the world, to let it not be about you. Let your own energy pour out into the world. Give it a positive flow and watch, or rather feel, your whole soul expand.

2. Actively look for items of your life and energy to appreciate:

Someone asked me recently how something went. My response was: "You know, we got it done." Shocked and baffled emoji here. 

I said this statement this morning. This is called living in ignorance. Ignoring the true beauty and fun of life. This is called not being appreciative of your gifts. Just because something is a challenge does not mean it deserves ignorance. My challenges need to be appreciated the most.

I'm not going to shame myself because I never promised anyone I would be perfect or saintly. But I knew better. And really, that's not how it was for me at all. It was a good experience and I'm surprised that I answered like that (weird). 

Ignorance is ignoring your life (and also ignoring truth). Not seeing what's there, the countless blessings right in front of you, right IN you. 

Don't let the moments go by ignored. Appreciate as much as you can, as much you can remember (which I know is not easy). So maybe set a timer on your phone for four times a day. Or wear a bracelet or something that reminds you. Put cryptic notes all over the place in your life: your car, your bathroom mirror, your kitchen sink). 

This is so we can turn it into a habit. Because gratitude is the most beautiful thing. 

So actively choose appreciation and gratitude. This is a moment-by-moment decision. Even when something seemingly bad happens, try gratitude for what it will do for you, what it will secretly bring you or teach you. 

Appreciation is a form of love, and ignorance is a form of fear (lack of love = lack of appreciation). It always comes down the choice between moving in the direction of one of two energies on opposite ends of the spectrum: love vs. fear, as we've said.

But a lot of the times, appreciation is easier to obtain than straight-up, big ole love. It takes and sweeps us into the direction of love, on the positive side of the spectrum. 

Gratitude lifts the vibe of a person so quickly: it really causes the most miraculous turnarounds in a life or in someone's vibe and mood. And really, your life is made from your vibration. So pick it up.

I've designed an awesome free gratitude program, if you'd like to train the brain towards appreciation:

3. Choose, by the day, your main mode of being:

I have two little children. They wake me up every morning. As much as I want to be someone who gets up at 5 to meditate every morning, at this point in my life, it is not happening. But it is necessary for me to find a moment ("Mommy has to go to the bathroom! Be right back!") to breathe and think about my day and set my mode of being for the day.

If you have time to meditate even for 3 minutes, you can clear the head, get quiet and ask yourself some quick questions. 

We can ask ourselves, "What does this day require of me? What does the world need from me today?" And from there, we will choose a mode of being.

This is a way we intend to live the day. It's setting an intention and getting clear on our course. This is the direction in which we will keep our vehicles steering. This is the foundation of all of our moments for the rest of the day. And life is made of moments and days. 

I like to keep things simple and narrow it down to one of 3 modes:

  • peace and acceptance

  • love and joy

  • creativity and enthusiasm

A lot of times the mode I choose is based on several factors: whether I slept well or I was up all night with a crying baby, whether I have a lot of paperwork or a creative activity, who I'll be with, what kind of energy is required for the activities ahead, whether or not I'm excited about the day, etc.

You will know intuitively which mode is best for you on any day. And you can certainly switch up modes in the middle of your day if you'd like. It's up to you. This is the sweetness of being the captain of your own fate, the master of your own soul.

You create your own vibe and energy, moment-to-moment. Your vibe builds off of your daily intention. 

Isn't it so much fun to create your life like a beautiful work of art? You do this in every moment. Every thought, every word, every action. Your energy. Decide to expand, to appreciate, to be intentional of your vibration. 

I sometimes make the mistake of forgetting that life is never in some other distant future that will be better...I sometimes forget that I am, right now, creating my future. And that this moment is just as wonderful. That my life happens only now. 

And how abundant and beautiful it is.


Comment below if you feel me! Or have anything to add. Or don't feel me! Whatever you want to say.

Related: 7 Most Useful Insights for Living in the Present Moment: Awareness Advice from a Flawed Yoga Teacher

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