Get out of my yard. I'm serious.
These things showed up at the end of October. I woke up one day and said, "Hmm, there sure are a lot of blackbirds all over the place." And then I had the audacity to say, in the beginning of November, "It's kind of cool how they fly in unison like that." End of November: "These birds are getting on my nerves." December: (Will's shotgun going off to scare them away) "GET OUT!"
January: (disheveled hair, a little crazy from the screeching noises): "Please leave. Please go. Away. Fly away. Please. I beg." If they aren't gone by February, there is a chance that I could be in a mental ward acting and screeching like a blackbird.
It's weird to wake up and feel like you're in the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Birds. They scour every inch of the ground. They flock to one tree and then move on to the next when they've had enough of being hellish on the former's branches.
Why do they come here? I don't know. I guess the leader of the pack hates us and wants to prove some kind of point. I was out in the yard, dodging bullets while picking pecans. They were screeching at each other: "Hey, what's she doing? Picking up our scraps from the ground? Get her!" Then came the white rain, and I yelled at them to go back to where they came from!! I'm not scared of bird doo. So shoo!!! (Yes, I am quite afraid of bird #2). So their conspiracy theory worked, and I ran like the dickens. They win every time.
But the cardinals and goldfinches are cute so I don't know. I always pictured myself loving all animals with little birds and creatures flocking around me like Cinderella. I'm confused. There's too much noise around me. I can't think anymore.
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So what is a girl to do? What does the typical woman consumed with thousands of blackbirds do?
The best thing: Breath. Just breathe. Exasperation will take its toll. But not if I pay attention to breath, right? I am here. Serenity now.
Blackbird, "take your broken wings and learn to fly" OUT OF MY LIFE.
I am only waiting for that moment to be free. Blackbird, fly.